Down Once More: The Phantom's Thoughts
by WaxWorkDoll
Summary: One ShotCompeleted! The Phantom's Thought's during the end sequence in the play (not the movie!). RR! Hope you enjoy it!


_**A/N: Yeah, there might be a whole bunch of these little one-shots from me...So...hope you all enjoy them. For quick reference, I'm using the PLAY version of the Phantom, NOT the movie. I give the movie it's kudos, but if you've only been recently exposed to the Phantom via the movie, I suggest you complete your tranformation, and either see the Broadway play, or get the Complete play on CD. Henceforth, things might seem confusing if you've only seen the movie. **_

_**Summary: My story/mixed with the play version of the last scene: Down Once More.../Track Down This Murderer. I'll be using both paraphrasing of the songs as well as some direct quotes. Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: All things Phantom belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice and the Really Useful Company. This is just fanfiction, I make NO money off of it!**_

I felt my muscles burning as I furiously propelled the boat onwards, my teeth gritted so hard I felt my jaw starting to thrum with the pressure. I was so angry...angry at the crowd, their screams of terror. Briefly my fingers trembled over my deformity, eyes locking shut to fight back the tears. Most of all, I was mad at Christine. I was bitter, the nights events falling away from me, crumbling.

I paused in my rowing, giving my muscles a moment to relax, rounding on the prone figure of Christine. She sat so calmly, legs curled up towards her body, hands resting on the sides of the boat. Her eyes watched the glimmer of the water, and her apathy made me hate her for a moment.

"Aren't you going to say it? Aren't you going to scream, Christine? Has your mind made up some story as to why I'm here? I'm a criminal? A psycho?" I scoffed when she didn't look at me. "I'm here because of man's hatred for me...because of my face! Can you believe that? My face!'

I felt laughter escape me, high pitched and frantic, cut short by voices...distant voices. I quivered, moving off once more, turning my back to Christine.

"I can't escape them...hounded out by everyone...met with hatred everywhere...oh Christine..." She had become one of them...her apathy spoke volumes. I was something to be locked up. I sobbed gently, shoulders hunched as I fought my rage back. "Why...why?" I moaned.

A few minutes later we bumped into the tiny dock, and I jumped out, tying the boat up with the rope, my hands sore from the force used earlier with the Punjab Lasso...Piangi hadn't been easy. I winced with pain, checking my palms for blood, but they were only red. Christine still sat in the boat, and I lurched foward, my hand catching her upper arm and I dragged her from the boat.

She yelped, falling on her hands and knees upon the dock. I was shaking with rage again, and I turned from her, making my way up the steps to my throne, which was pushed back away from the organ. The handmade wax dummy of Christine was in shambles, the body barely intact, the limbs crumbled upon the floor. I knelt down, picking up a hand, fingertips rubbing over the pliable texture.

Behind me, Christine finally spoke, her voice trembling, though her words rung sharply true. "Have you finally sated your lust for blood?" she said harshly. I didn't even move. She tried again. "Am I now to be prey for your lust for flesh?"

Brief flash in my twisted minds eye of Christine arched beneath me, an image that I quickly shoved away. I took my time responding, my fingertips now caressing over the wedding gown, which still clung desprately to the remains of the dummy. "This fate, which condemns me, to wallow in blood, has also denied me the joys of the flesh. My face," I glanced at her over my shoulder, feeling suddenly so cold..."the infection which poisons our love..."

I reached out and lifted up the bridal veil, running my fingers over it adoringly, my eyes upon Christine the whole time. "It infected my mother's love, as well. I didn't get swaddled with soft blankets...I got a cold porceline mask...a mask was my first unfeeling scrap of clothing..."

Christine's eyes lowered, and I realized swiftly the emotion I saw within her depths...pity. I sneered, stepping forward and lovingly placing the veil upon the crown of her head. As I spoke, my hands smoothed over it, letting it drape over her gown. "Your pity comes to late, Christine. I've already learned the ways of man. Come to terms with your fate...an eternity of _this_ before your eyes."

Her eyes locked onto my deformity, and with a momentary relief, I saw no disgust in them...just that apathy. I wanted to shake emotion back into her!

She raised her hand to feel how the veil fell down the back of her head, never once removing her eyes from me. "Your face no longer frightens me," she whispered. "It's your distorted soul that gives me waking nightmares..."

I shut my eyes at her words, feeling my heart cringe with the pain of her words. I'd had images of walking with her down the boulevards, her arm in mine...A movement from the corner of my eye, and I whirled around, a sadistic smile crawling over my features.

"It seems, my darling, that we have a guest!"

Christine's face fell as she spotted Raoul as well, and she dashed down towards the gate, their arms outstretched for one another. "Raoul!" she gasped.

Fighting back jealousy, I raised my voice clearly, crossing my arms against my chest. "Sir...this is indeed a delight! I was hoping you'd join us! It seems my wish has come true! You have truly made my night!

Christine looked at me, a cold knowledge resting in her accusatory stare. Raoul gripped the bars of the gate, shaking them uselessly. "Let her go! Please! Take me instead! Have you no pity?"

I threw my head back, laughing, such sharp hatred inside of me for this man! "Your _lover_ makes a passionate plea!" I chuckled to Christine.

Her sad eyes looked at Raoul, shaking her head. "Please Raoul, it's useless."

Raoul wasn't to be deterred, he threw his form against the gate, slipping to his knees in the shallow water. "I love her! Doesn't that _mean_ anything? Show some compassion-"

"_The world showed no compassion to me!_" I roared, my arm running over a table, knocking the books and pens to the floor, turning from them in disgust.

Raoul pressed his forehead against the bars, one hand reaching through to grip pityfully at her skirts. "Christine! Christine! Oh please...let me see her!"

I felt my upper lip curl, as I strolled over to the lever, dancing my fingers over the cool metal before speaking, my voice dry. "Be my guest, sir."

The gate rose, and without a moment's hesitation Raoul stumbled in, falling into Christine's arms. I made my way down the side steps, circling them as I kept my emotions in check. Beside the steps I kept a Punjab Lasso, this which I know gripped in my hands, my voice emotionless as not to arouse suspicion.

"Monsieur, I bid you most welcome! You didn't honestly think that I would harm her? That is most insulting..." I readied the lasso, muscles trembling. "Why should I make her pay for the sins which are yours?"

The Punjab Lasso caught him by the neck just as I ended my sentence. I jerked it sharply and he fell to his knees once more, his fingers curling around the edge of the rope, trying to ease the pressure.

Sneering once more, I turned my eyes to Christine, who had backed away, horror in her eyes once more. There was her emotion! I knew you hadn't become a cold snake, my dear! Let the bargin begin!

"You should have let him order the horses, Christine," I taunted. She visibly started, bursting into tears. She now knew that I had been there on the rooftop. I leaned down to see Raoul, my fingers tapping just above his eyebrow, my voice a whisper. "Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes! Nothing can save you now...except Christine."

I eased the rope slightly, satisfied at hearing the rattled gasp of air. Leaving him to catch his breath, the rope still in my hand, I moved closer to Christine, occupied now with her. "Start a new life with me! Save him with your love! If you refuse me, I'll send him to his grave...this is your choice Christine! Your point of no return!"

She'd stopped crying now, petite fingers atteming to dab at the stray tears. When she'd finished she looked at me, smiling sadly. "I once cried for you...I felt that such a dark fate was deserved by no man. But that emotion has long grown cold, and now I only cry for my hatred of you!"

I flinched, ignoring Raoul's desparing apologies to Christine. He was to be dead soon...Christine looked away from me, her voice barely a whisper, and I got the sense that she was speak to herself. "I've watched all the illusions shatter, like a mirror...I've had to say farewell to a fallen idol...a false friend..."

I sliced my hand through the air, my voice gruff. "To late for turning back, Christine! Your prayers are useless! Your pity means _nothing_!"

From the ground Raoul was getting his voice back, though it was still thick from the damage done by the lasso. "Chrstine, don't do this! My life is over if you do this!"

I rounded on him, my teeth bared. "Your cries for help are hopeless..." and to Christine. "No point in fighting."

Raoul slumped his shoulders, and there was a silence for a moment, before mumbling. "Either way you choose he has to win." Good thinking, Raoul.

"You cannot win," I confirmed. "So, do you end your days with me, or do you send him to his grave?"

"Why make her lie to you to save me?" I tugged the rope hard, my aggression and tension growing. Raoul bent double, managing to ease the rope with his fingers. "Christine!" he gasped. "Say no!"

"Why are you doing this?" Christine pleaded, eyes wet with fresh tears. "When will you see reason!"

"This is the game, Christine! His life is now the prize which you must earn."

Christine carefully removed the wedding veil, running the textured fabric through her fingers before holding it to her heart, her eyes downcast. "You decieved me. I gave you my mind..my heart...blindly."

I tightened my grip upon the rope, a low growl escaping me. "You try my patience, Christine! Make your _choice_!"

No movement was made for a long moment, before finally, Christine let the veil fall into the water, stepping closer to me, her voice stronger now. "I don't know what twisted you this way...if it was just the wrong doing of man, or if it was something darker...but God above, you are not alone..."

So calmly, she brought her hands to my shoulders, leaning up upon tip toe, her lips meeting mine. Instantly, I dropped the rope, my arms coming akwardly around her as with a dull understanding, I experienced my first kiss.

Her lips tasted of apple, and they were as soft as silk! I felt her arms wrap around my waist, as she pulled back slightly, only to breath out upon my mouth, then returning to the kiss. I was going to faint! But no, no...I wouldn't, I couldn't! I heard a strange noise, and I vaguely knew it was me, my sobs.

I was the one to pull away, my thick tears making it hard to breath, and I waved absently at Raoul, barely registered it as he pulled the Lasso off of his neck, tossing it into the murky water. It didn't matter anymore...nothing mattered anymore. I felt as if thirty years of pain and suffering had been taken from me...Christine had taken the world from Atlas. I felt brief hatred for it, for taking what I had lived with for so long.

But as I heard the distant splashing of people treading through the shallows of the lake, I understood that this only made me feel even more love for Christine. She'd brought me closer to the God of my childhood...the God that I thought had abandoned me...He found me through her.

I heard the mob grow closer, and I scrambled towards the dock, motioning for them to follow. "Take her...forget me...forget _all_ of this." My hands fumbled with the rope of the boat. "Leave me alone, forget all you've seen! Go now, don't let them find you!"

They stared at me almost dumbly, and I finally managed to unknot the rope, and I threw it aside. "Take the boat, leave me here! Go now don't wait!"

The mob was getting closer, I could see the flashing light of their torches. My eyes locked upon Christine, and I felt the urge to grab her, to run away with her. My voice was cracking. "Just take her and go! Before it's too late!"_ Before I change my mind...before I kill you Raoul and take Christine's innocence...don't think I'm beyond doing it. _"Go!" I shoved Raoul hard towards the boat, my voice scratching. "Go now and _leave me_!"

I stumbled away, falling to my knees and moved up to collapse upon the steps. I pressed my forehead against the stones, raising my eyes to see the music box a few feet away. I smiled at the irony, calmly winding up the toy monkey, hearing it play. My voice whispered the lyrics. "Masquerade...paper faces on parade...Masquerade...hide your face, so the world will never find you..."

I finally managed to rise, walking calmly towards my throne, shoving the dummy off. I got satisfaction out of hearing the waxy _thud_ it made, a thrill out of how the yellowy color splattered over the ground.

I sat down, my arms hanging limply over the sides, my feet outstretched. I saw Christine climb the stairs, but I was took tired to look. It was only when I felt her press the ring into my hand that I finally shifted. I sat upright, unable to fight the tears back any longer, and I gripped her hand, presing my face against the heavenly softness of it. I stained her hand with my tears! I marked her! God fogive me!

"Christine, I love you..." I cried, kissing at her knuckles, turning her hand over to plant one kiss to her palm. Her hand slipped from my grasp, trailing over my cheek before she moved off, not once looking back at me. For the best...for the best.

I watched them move off, Raoul rowing as hard as he could, wanting to avoid the mob all together. I couldn't blame him. I stood up, unconciously reaching out for her, my vision blurred, my body wanting to double over from the pain that her loss brought me. As soon as they were out of sight, I sat back down, letting my eyes roam over my domain once more, before I wrapped my cloak around myself, sending up the smoke screen, the magicians easiest trick, and left.

How to end this story...I can't. The pain of experiencing it was too much to bare. I hope...pray, that Christine is out there, somewhere, happy. Christine was the only one that made my spirit soar, sent my song to the heavens. My story has ended...the music of the night is no more.


End file.
